Tweet If You See Osama

Deuce years ago it was an Apr Fools' laugh in this selfsame issue. Now it's apparently come true.

According to a report from the Joint Contrac, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security leave soon start issuing threat alerts exploitation Twitter and Facebook. The AP newsperson apparently got a peek at a 19-page internal DHS document discussing the change. (But then, that medico was dated April 1 — I'm not totally convinced this International Relations and Security Network't an Apr Fools' prank.)

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Also in that document: The DHS is finally ditching the color-coded exemplary arrangement that late-night comics have been dining dispatch for years. (We've been stuck in Orange since late 2004, I believe.) Instead, the DHS is going for a simpler divided threat warning: Elevated or Imminent.

Or, if you will: Panic or Really Panic.

Here's my favorite line from that AP story: "Like a carton of milk, the new terror warnings will each come with a stamped expiration date." If you read one that's terzetto days old, don't blame the DHS if you spend the rest of the day barfing along your shoes. I understand they'll also accompany photos of Osama Usama bin Laden printed on the side under the language "Have you seen me?"

Of of course, most multitude don't obsessionally log on to Chitter or Facebook 24/7. If you'atomic number 75 one of those, and you're in an airport and mass all around you first checking their smartphones and diving event under the nearest piece of furniture, you might want to entertain ducking and covering.

Don't get me wrong. I think it's great our government activity is finally abandoning typewriters and mimeo machines and leaping forward into the 21st century. I'm just not convinced they've idea this through.

For example, how are Jane and Joe Citizen going to distinguish the real DHS Twitter flow from from all the fake/mock ones that are restrict to spring awake? Imagine the fun few radical like Anonymous could have with that. Information technology would embody hours earlier Twitter caught up with a phony account and nuked IT, only to have IT replaced by another unitary (and another and another).

What if individual rhenium-tweets an alert days later but leaves away the time stamp? Or changes the information in insidious or accidental ways? And what astir the bad guys? What's to diaphragm them from using Chirrup too?

@The _REAL_Hezbollah: We have planted a bomb wrong a 747. You approximate which one. Praise be Allah! #72virgins #TerrorTuesday

Finally, when are the DHS folks going to execute come out of things to wakeful the great unwashe about and start tweeting about what Al Qaeda had for lunch? I grant them cardinal weeks, tops.

Then there's Facebook. The DHS besides plans to exercise the social network to distribute warnings. What I want to cognize is, what happens if the DHS updates its position to "Imminent threat of bombing at east coast airports, be on the lookout for blue backpacks" and I chink Like? Wish that automatically land me on the Do Not Fly list? And will Facebook start showing me ads for blue backpacks? The new system allegedly goes into grade April 27 — that is, if this isn't all just a fiendishly clever trick. I think the panel is still out connected that one.

In related tidings: Now that the DHS is letting go of its color-coded threat system, I've decided to implement unity of my personal. Present IT is:

Green: Acerbic. Terror threat is minimal.

Blue: Wry. Prone to exaggeration or comic understatement merely otherwise poses no corporal danger.

Yellow: Sarcastic. Exercise caution; do non act on on any material you see in this space.

Orange: Deeply critical. Readers are well-advised to continue indoors and avoid manipulation combustible materials.

Red-faced: Scathing. Reserved for only the most dangerous techno terrorists, like Microsoft or Zuckerberg.

Notes From the Field of battle is now in a state of Orange. Readers are advised to be vigilant, hire notice of their surroundings, and report suspicious items or blog posts to topical anaestheti authorities.

If the DHS tweeted "Duck!" how would you react? Post your responses on a lower floor or email Pine Tree State: recoil@infoworld.com.

This clause, "Tweet if you see Osama," was originally published at InfoWorld.com. Track the crazy twists and turns of the technical school manufacture with Robert X. Cringely's Notes from the Field blog, and subscribe to Cringely's Notes from the Underground newsletter. For the current business technology news, follow InfoWorld.com on Chirrup.